Tag Archives: Law of Attraction

Chained in the dungeon-2These are two words that have been tremendously “buzzed” and exhausted in terms of content. Before we plunge into contemporary semantics and get lost in perspective, let’s look at their origins.

Independence comes from the 15th century French root dependre meaning “to hang from or hang down.” Freedom comes from the Old English word freogan meaning “to liberate, to rid” or to be “not in bondage.” We can easily see that both words have an underlying meaning of not being bound or to be cut loose from if bound. But to feel this type of perception we must first have or feel a condition(s) that somehow makes us feel bound, limited or restricted. We need to understand that the origins of these perceived restrictions are probably much more subtle and not easily observable when it comes to our contemporary culture and our daily attitudes in life. In our surface understanding of the words we almost invariably apply them to national concerns and then apply them to personal and social conditions. We can see them as being, essentially the same but on a different scale. The major difference between the application of their meanings is that adolescents and people who feel oppressed see them as a need defined by their personal conditions where as a politician sees them as concepts to be used to promote bondage and commitment of their constituents while quoting them in terms of the oppressed conditions to which the people are to be subjugated. This may take a bit to clarify but the dynamic, which remains the same in both cases, but is approached differently by each. Let’s first look at the similarities and origins between adolescents and oppressed peoples.

Freedom and independence have become the battle cry of every adolescent and oppressed person. We can also include persecution under the heading, however, it is an extreme of the condition but with a much deeper and more desperate motivation. I’d rather not delve into that too deeply here as there are more complicated dynamics at work than just perceived oppression or subjugation.

Love & ApprovalLet’s start with the adolescent. But to understand the adolescent perspective we must begin with their childhood. When we come into this world we learn to obey our parents as they hold the keys to all that we need: food, comfort, love and guidance. As children this is all we know as we’ve never been exposed to more. Because they provide all that we need we accept their domination in showing us what to do, how to behave, how to feel, how to think and what to expect. If we are abused by them, we still know no different as they are still the only game in town. They are our world. They are god to us. It is also during this time that we are told that there exists a deity outside the family running the show that we must also abide by. Eventually, we are told that this deity runs our parent’s show too. Based on our initial dependency on our parents and the extension of their authority into the world through aligning with a deity we now have a complete setup for external domination. The world now dictates who we should be, want, need and believe. We learn that our own feelings are not important and that it is more important how we appear to the world than how we feel or what our conditions are. Then something happens.

Children Rich & poorWe begin school in the outside world. Eventually through our exposure to other children we begin to realize that not all family worlds are run the same way. Some kids have more toys than we do. Some kids are allowed out later than we are. Some parents don’t keep track of their homework and chores. We start to question why we are different from other kids. We start to wonder why they are entitled to so much more or less than we are. By the time we reach puberty this line of thinking takes off like a rocket as our hormones supercharge what we feel. We begin to rebel against our family and the world. We feel oppressed and restricted. It is this awareness that not everyone lives by the same rules and guidelines that contributes to our urge to free ourselves from circumstance that we believe curtail our energy and movement. This is where adolescents become similar to any oppressed peoples; the awareness that not everyone lives by the same rules leading us to the need to break free. But there is another belief that has subtlety and efficiently moved into place; the belief that the world determines our circumstances and not the other way around. This makes us easy pickings for any outside authority, such as government and religion, to manipulate us into conforming to whatever behavior will generate and continue their support, approval and inclusion in the national “family.” Religion goes one step further. Required behavior for their continued support and inclusion demands that we behave altruistically by committing to putting the welfare of others, mostly theirs, ahead of our own benefit. The stage is set.

New car keysEnter the media. Showing that we could be driving new cars on country roads with no traffic. Showing us how we can be “successful” people having our own business free from family, regulation and taxes. Superheroes and vigilantes defying the law “doing it their way” and becoming social heroes gaining the approval and acceptance of the “masses” while “saving the world.” “Ordinary” people acquiring money, power and command over the opposite sex confirming their worthiness and desirability simply by buying a product.

The media has capitalized tremendously on the desperate need for the love, approval and acceptance we believe we might not have received as children. We can have love, approval and acceptance simply by buying a product, taking a course, allowing financial advisement, using the right deodorant, buying the right car, using the right breath mints, wearing the right clothing. Shall I go on? Yet, there is another underlying assumption in all this externally generated push for us to buy more. It’s the allure of being unobligated to anyone else for us to be able to “find and keep” happiness.

Envy-1What’s ironic is that this push for love, approval and acceptance has only made us more aware and more attentive to its absence. According to the Law of Attraction, where we put our energy (attention) only serves to feed and grow what it is we’re focusing on. So in following the commercial media, that is, watching TV with commercials, we end up feeling worse about ourselves than before we started watching.

Consider an example if you will. Statistically, and oddly enough in conjunction with the Law of Attraction, one gas station on one corner will earn a finite amount of revenue. However, if three additional gas stations occupy all four corners, the amount of revenue collected at that corner will be much more than just the sum of the four despite fears of individual competition. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. The point is, added focus on gas on that corner has increased universal returns.

So, let’s now apply this law to applying our focus on being unloved, approved of or accepted. The more we feed those thoughts and feelings, the larger the perceived deficit grows. The universe says, “This is where you’re putting your energy? Then this is what I shall give you more returns on.” The universe is mindless. It simply responds to what we focus on.

Cross-on-MountainNow. Let’s look at freedom and independence. The more we focus on not having them, the more the universe will bring us circumstances affirming and emphasizing what it is that we don’t have thereby confirming our belief! As we think, so we are. Whether you are religious, atheist or agnostic, you cannot deny the logic of the dynamics of energy. Those who are religious have been trained to believe that the “lord will provide.” As fatalistic as that may sound, the universe, lord, god, devil or whomever we believe is in charge will provide whatever we energize. They (those we worship, as imaginary as they may be) are only the universe operating according to the Law of Attraction. If we emphasize the need for freedom and independence, the universe will bring us more circumstances that support that need, aka, more restrictive circumstances that verify our beliefs.

So, based on this, you’re probably saying to yourself, “So what do I focus on?” The answer is simple. The law works no matter where we focus. What to do? Focus on what we do have that is working. Talk about what you can do. Talk about the things you do have that you appreciate. Talk about the things that you have that are aligned with what you want to have, be or do. This does not mean tell yourself you are rich and competent when in your heart you actually believe that you’re not. You cannot fool the universe. It resonates to what is actually in your heart and belief system. As you believe, so you are. Or, more appropriately, as you feel, so you are. If you Kayak on rapids-1feel that you are not confident, rather say to yourself, “I am becoming more confident every day.” In acknowledging both you are allowing the energy to flow through both. That means the having of confidence is also getting play. You’re not saying something that your mind can’t accept or won’t believe. You’re acknowledging the potential for both failure AND success. Your heart and mind can accept and believe this and the universe will support it. What you feel will manifest. It may take a little time for the “universal manager” to catch up to prior programming and arrange circumstances that will confirm your new chosen belief but it will eventually manifest as you gradually remove your resistance to its existence by terminating focusing on what you aren’t or don’t have.

TV-Advertising-1In the same light, if the media you’re watching does not confirm projecting energy and focus in the direction of what you want to be, have or do…turn the channel until you can find a station that does. If you can’t find one, turn it off. Surround yourself with people that support what you’re working toward. Do NOT commiserate with others about what you don’t have. It will only serve to show the universe what you don’t want more of…and you’ll get it.

Simply put, if you focus on what you don’t have (freedom and independence), the Law of Attraction will provide you with more of the same. If you focus on what you do have (freedom and independence), the Law of Attraction will provide you with more of the same. Energy simply follows thought. It’s up to you to choose.

The Hermit-1In a past article I covered many of the dynamics behind how an affirmation works mingled with some of the operating rationale behind the process. But sometimes more is needed to give you clear signposts in a checklist making sure that what you’re putting into operation is actually working with the laws of attraction and that you’re utilizing all the potential that a properly framed affirmation can give you.

For most people, an affirmation simply becomes a verbalization of a wish or desire with an assumption and hope that enough repetition will produce it. Granted, repetition will intensify any focus we might put out into the universe through increasing its attraction to us but, more importantly, how we end up putting it together often contains factors that actually work against what it is that we’re seeking. And then, when we include the vague and irrational components of hope or assumption, we let go of our clarity totally diffusing its energy and power and our affirmation simply falls flat. For an affirmation to be effective it must have clarity, force and enough energy behind it to replace the inertia of the circumstances that are already being held, by us, in place. The key is in our replacing the circumstances not opposing them.

Concentration-11. Focus ONLY on what you want. This is probably the hardest thing for us to do. Why? Stop and consider. When you say what you want, how do you usually phrase it? You almost inevitably say, “I want…but…” That but is the killer. It pulls conflicting conditions into what you’re saying about what you want. Let me explain.

Our mind is a very powerful tool and the subtleties of its operation are just as effective and operate by the same laws as its obvious mechanisms. Just because we don’t recognize them as such has no effect on diminishing their influence. So when we say “I want…” we’re giving the universe a very clear message. However, when we do what most people do, we say or think “I want…but…” which becomes death null for any projection of energy. Why? Because by adding but we split the energy of our projection into opposing forces causing a stalemate and maintaining the absence of what is desired. There is what we want and the but. Want + but = stalemate. They essentially cancel each other out. Affirmation; dead in the water.

When we acknowledge what might be working against us, we augment its influence. The Chinese have been known to say, “To acknowledge our enemy gives them power over us.” There is also an old Shamanic story that is told to a youth by an elder which illustrates how dynamic where we apply our energy is. When the elder tells the youth, “A good wolf and bad wolf both live within a brave’s heart,” and then asks, “Which one will win?” When the youth is unable to answer, the elder tells him, “The one that we feed will be the one that wins.” If we acknowledge and follow no other laws in the universe, we should know that energy follows thought and our attention directs that energy. Even Jesus knew and said, “As a man thinketh, so he is.”

So, the next time you tell someone what you want, listen to yourself. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts your first pass at stating what you want will include the infamous but. You’re really going to have to work on this one. It’s a very hard habit to break and it’s going to take a lot more energy and concentration than you think to push it out of your vernacular. If you can’t do this one, no amount of focus, phraseology or repetition will overcome your own projected resistance. Speak only what you want.

failure-success-road-12. Any affirmation used must allow for the possibility of success AND failure for the mind to believe in the potential for change. If in an affirmation we tell ourselves, “I am a confident and competent person,” and we really don’t believe it, how effective do you think this affirmation will be? What we feel and believe about ourselves has everything to do with what it is that we attract into our lives. If at our core we truly believe that we’re not competent or confident, how much truth do you think our mind will see in an affirmation that states that we are? There’s a gap as large as the Grand Canyon between what we’re telling ourselves and what we actually believe.

If our spoken affirmation is too far off what we truly feel or believe about ourselves, our reality based mind can’t accept the tremendous gap between the two. This, again, will create an internal conflict and lock up the energy applied to the affirmation. It, again, becomes a stalemate. In other words, the mind cannot accept the validity of any sweeping and, obviously contradictory, affirmation. Again, affirmation dead in the water.

So, rather than affirming that “I am a competent and confident person,” better to say, “Each day that I work on being more competent and confident I am growing stronger and stronger.” The key is that this phraseology allows for the possibility of defeat but focuses on our wanted progress which allows for the uncertainty of doubt. The mind can accept a balance over a one sided argument.

Glasses & Clarity-13. Be clear on what you want and phrase it in a proactive frame. One of the biggest difficulties that we have, especially in our Western culture, is that most of us phrase what we want in terms of what we don’t want. Perhaps we do this because we’ve been subliminally trained that we are to be considered selfish if we state what we want outright. Hence, we couch what we want in terms of what we don’t want so others around us may not feel threatened. This may sound illogical, but we feel that our indirectness makes us less accountable if someone is either offended or incapacitated should we get what it is that we want. It’s almost like those of us who are self-conscious have an aversion toward expressing ourselves openly for fear of criticisms or accusations of selfishness or having a lack of compassion for the “shortages” of what others might feel.

Regardless of the rationale behind why we phrase what we want in the negative, it’s very important to understand that the universe does not recognize, use or accept the concept of don’t, not, can’t, won’t or any variation of a negative connected to a desire or an action. All it hears is the action or want and fulfills it without the negative. So, if we were to say, “I don’t want to be lonely,” the universe only hears “I want to be lonely” and we get more of the same circumstances that contribute to our feeling lonely. Realize that any negative projection creates resistance in the energy flow. Verbally, we essentially use don’t as a wall or a blockage toward what we feel is undesirable. This may seem totally bonkers but it’s only what the mind understands and has no bearing on what the universe actually does.

Power of Now-14. Phrase your affirmations in the present tense. Phrasing your affirmation in terms of the past or the future has a finality or a feeling of, “This is as far as I can go or as far as I’ve been able.” They stop the energy dead in its tracks. When we say, “I have become more…” or “I will be more…” the statements are static, unmoving, and dead. There’s a prevailing assumption that there is or was no more potential for further change or movement. When we focus our affirmation on the present, it becomes dynamic, alive and moving. Better to say, “I am becoming more…” or “My life is changing…” Focusing in the present channels the energy into dynamic and presently occurring action not just a memory (past) or potential (future).

Thesaurus-15. Change up the phraseology often. When we repeat an affirmation over and over with the same words and cadence, the rhythm and the cadence start becoming wrote or automatic. When something becomes automatic we tend to lose the contextual feeling and the meaning that originally powered the affirmation. It becomes mindless. When we no longer feel the context, the energy diminishes and the affirmation loses the potency of its edge and its power. We’ve all noticed the “fall off,” if I can call it that, from when we’ve begun an activity we’ve really had an urge or a taste for all the way to the time when we conclude the activity. The feeling of novelty eventually wears off and it then feels like we’re just going through the motions. When we no longer feel the novelty or context, our loss of feeling and enthusiasm no longer empowers the affirmation. When this occurs we lose momentum and, more importantly, we tend to forget what our original intention felt like. Changing up the words we use makes it new, fresh and exciting. This renews its energy, power and effectiveness.

Faith-16. Have faith in the process. Expect your progress in small bite sized pieces not in larger than life sweeping assertions. When we learn to use any new tool we don’t immediately become masters at handling it. It takes, time, persistence and practice in using it and developing the refinement of its use. In the same way, when we change any of our internal habits or abilities, they happen intermittently until the new pattern takes a consistent form holding a place in our daily routine. Ask yourself, do you lose all your weight dieting overnight? Do you stop smoking and immediately reduce the urge and all the life cues that contribute to its occurring? No. They all occurred gradually. Affirmations function the same way. They are simply a tool or vehicle for bringing about change.

Any major change in our life that has any permanence occurs slowly over time. Remember, some patterns may have taken a lifetime to develop. If you’re attempting to change a pattern that you’ve either been taught or have allowed to develop over the years, expect a reasonable amount of time for its replacement pattern to take hold. Celebrate your small successes as they come. Express appreciation for them. Appreciation “greases” the wheels of the universe. And more importantly, don’t cave in at the first setback. There will probably be plenty. Just have faith that your consistency and carefully applied focus will win out.

Zen-117. Lastly, one of the most important factors in implementing any affirmation is clarity of focus. The trouble with most of us humans is that we tend to attach all types of conditions to what we want and how we want it to manifest. We cannot control how the universe will bring us what we want. When we do, we end up blocking what we want and getting in our own way with our conditions while what we want might be just around the corner but coming to us by means that we simply don’t expect.

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Shapeshifters-Tiger PantherSo much has been written about why we are here in these bodies in this time. Since most of us cannot remember not being here, the only thing we can do is proffer assumptions, suppositions and theories as to why we are here. And since the why is so prevalent, how we make the shift and its consequences is rarely addressed. The larger part of our contemporary Western civilization works from a perspective of altruism (to serve others or a deity at the expense of personal benefit or expectation) which is at the root of most Judaeo-Christian beliefs. The fact that the Western world inundates us with an altruistic belief system at an age where our ability to reason or make personal choices has not yet been developed accounts for the fact that it is so prevalent in our culture and so difficult to think past or recognize any alternate perspectives. In view of this altruistic saturation of our culture’s perspectives, considerations of any other belief systems offered as alternatives are few and far between at best. Please understand that there is nothing wrong with having an altruistic perspective, however, more of a balance that allows for an individual’s pursuit of an enjoyable personal life and livelihood without our current subliminal and implied application of guilt based on selfishness is sorely needed. The bottom line to this type of thinking is that we have been trained into believing that any value we hold about who we are and what our worth might be is determined, not our own assessment, but by others and their perceptions of “what” we’re worth and to whom. So, in a nutshell, the world determines first, who we are, what we must aspire to become and how we must act while “getting there.” Once we realize this we end up asking ourselves, “Doesn’t my opinion matter?” What’s ironic is that our opinion does matter but only in reference to valuing others. It’s almost like we’re forbidden to apply value to ourselves except in view of how we relate to others and they to us.

The need to be able to take care of our own needs is certainly of paramount importance; however, to focus on ourselves within the purview of others almost always gains a label that somehow infers selfishness which, in recent years and is most visibly apparent in almost all of the contemporary “spiritual” disciplines. It has gained tremendous momentum in equating any selfishness to having a “negative” or undesirable connotation. This often subliminal undercurrent coupled with our Judaeo-Christian perspective makes it seem that if we don’t have a dedication to the cause of those who are “less fortunate” than us that we are somehow deficient, immoral or insensitive. This has grown into a subtle and subliminal oppression making it very difficult for us to gather and maintain motivation for formulating and adhering to a life path that benefits us and those similar to us without applying an underlying guilt that by doing so we are depriving others who might be in “need” of our assistance. This dynamic operates well beneath our threshold of awareness for most of us in our Western culture. Our financial and political systems have geared themselves exceedingly well to this subtle dynamic and have played us mercilessly. So much so that the dynamics of altruism and its effects have become so deeply ingrained in our psyches that it has become almost impossible for most of us to recognize its deprecating effects on our own personal happiness. When we feel that we have no space, let alone allowance, for us to have a way to express our own individualism and creativity, a pervading wave of depression steeps us in helplessness permeating our general consciousness.

The Fountainhead-2There have been pioneers who have put forth literary examples of how to free ourselves from the constricting effects inherent in living within an extreme altruistic envelop but they have met with the same accusation of selfishness, immorality and insensitivity toward the “needs” of others. Among them are literary works such as “The Fountainhead” and “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand who has gained some attraction among a small following but has not done enough to raise our consciousness enough for us to be able to perceive and remedy the oppressive stronghold that altruism has invisibly held over our culture. However, where anything is oppressed always has a resulting resistance and acts much like a bubble in the wallpaper simply moving under the pressure until it can find a point of release. Another approach has been slowly growing momentum in the “spiritual” field producing a method for release and slipping past the moral “watchdogs” of altruism potentially freeing us from our unconsciously nagging waves of depression and occasional hopelessness. One such approach is the growing momentum in those who learn and use the “Law of Attraction.”

Atlas ShruggedMy first encounter with LOA was in 2006. During that time I was still wrapped in the mindset of “poverty consciousness” which was well connected to the followers of any metaphysical or contemporary spiritual practice. Altruism was, and still is in many cases, well ingrained in these and like disciplines. So my perspective then was that this was just a new gimmick and a group of people geared up toward “acquiring stuff.” So, I simply passed over it as a fad much the same way I did for the shaman wave in the 05’s and the angels fad in the 09’s. Little did I know…

The VortexIn 2013 I came across a CD about LOA called “The Vortex.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. Once I listened through I was hooked. Something in it resonated strongly within me but I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. I listened to it a number of times and the underlying meaning penetrated to my core giving me a self-clarity I had never had before. Not about whom I should be. Not about how good or bad I was. Not about rules, regulations, dogma or discipline but about recognizing the inner urges that were my indicators and directionals about where I should look to find the validation I needed to allow and empower my Self-Trust and to fuel and maintain my motivation to express, create and enjoy life in spite of the endlessly perceived outer moral and cultural directives replaying within me like a tape caught in a repetitive mental loop. I found my childhood programming challenged with a perspective that allowed for more of a balance between my inner and outer worlds. Personal expression and acknowledgment of its value had become more of an option. I was psyched.

law-of-attraction-1For the next two years I downloaded and played all I could from YouTube.com. I saturated myself with the teachings. Slowly, a subtle but very strong shift grew in my understanding about the altruistic path I had been following and a different approach which included what was needed for the people in my circle of friends and acquaintances but still allowed me to pursue what I wanted guilt free. However, implementing it would involve excommunication from many of my friends and connections until a shift toward those more aligned with my personal path could take place. The basic premise behind the whole approach is that what I think about and focus on will be what comes back to me. So, if I resist something that I’m afraid of, I will attract more of what I’m afraid of. If I think about what I don’t have, I will attract more of the emptiness. If I complain about what I don’t like, I will attract more of what I don’t like. The Law of Attraction is very simple. Energy and manifestation simply follows thought. So the bible was right after all. “As a man thinketh, so he is!”

So now you’re probably asking, “How can focusing on what I have an urge to do or be answer what my new neighbors, friends and connections might need?” The answer is very simple but it’s an explanation that takes a ride around the corner from what might be expected.

At Your ServiceWhen I align my thoughts and energies with what I feel the urge to do and be, not what my culture deems is appropriate and “proper” for me according to its rules and traditions; I attract people to me who resonate with the new path I have chosen. The people already in my space and who expect me to provide them with what our culture tells them they should get from me will not receive what they expect. This will disappoint them severely and I will receive subtle accusations of being selfish or insensitive to their needs. They will wait a short time for me to “come around” and perhaps pressure me a bit more strongly to realign with providing their needs. Eventually, they will seek the support they think and have been told they should get from me, elsewhere. The new people who resonate and are aligned with the path I have chosen for myself will get what they need through their aligning with the same path that I have chosen. We will then serve as models and examples of refining our growth and alignment with the path for each other. In this way, doing what I love and have an inner urge to do will benefit the new people who are attracted to my preferred life paths and life styles as me.

The most difficult part of the above process has been losing the perceived security and acceptance I thought I had gained through attempting to provide my family, friends and acquaintances with what they were culturally trained to expect from me and that I was trained to provide to them before I began to follow my own path of growth following my own inner urges rather than acquiescing to what was traditionally expected of me. The gap between losing my family and friends’ acceptance and support and connecting with new people who resonated with my newly chosen path developed a void which left me feeling very lonely and disconnected. I could say that this was part and parcel to my journey through the abyss or my “dark night of the soul.” Simply put, I had moved from wanting to belong, be accepted and validated by those who weren’t aligned with my inner urges to attending my own dharma and personal growth in spite of the tremendous external cultural pressure. But the rewards of aligning with others who have common interests, goals and beliefs as my own has freed me from the guilt of feeling that I must be my brother’s keeper as I was trained in my childhood. fork in the road-1Instead of being outer responsive, which represents the larger sampling of our western culture, I have allowed myself to become more inner directed and balanced with my own urges and intuition. It is my belief that in the end we will all have to come to terms with making a choice between the security of belonging and the uncertainty of our experience born of awareness.