Tag Archives: Borders

The title might not make much sense at first glance but as I cover how we connect with others, especially when we first meet, it will begin to.

When we first meet someone we all go through a process. For some of us it is conscious. For others it isn’t and just seems to occur instinctively. In every interaction, whether conscious or not, we assess the other person as to our perceived safety with them, our susceptibility to their influence and how it is that we might benefit or lose through our interaction with them. Based on our assessment we will commit to memory our experience and prepare a future approach or response to them in order to be ready for future encounters. The underlying motivation for this is to preserve our feelings about our safety and maintain our personal integrity in relation to our view of ourselves. The response we prepare for them will have boundaries gauged by our need for safety but, more importantly, how much we believe we need or are allowed to defend ourselves against their influence if we perceive them as potentially harmful. ...continue reading